August 4, 2008 by Avy.

Xavier is moving SO much. It’s insane!

I’m watching my stomach move around and it looks like something out of a freaky parasitic-themed sci-fi movie. I get the good giggles everytime I see it. He was just going for about 3 minutes straight. I’m sure that’s the longest ever.

I’m not the biggest fan of being pregant, but this is pretty amazing.
Pregnancy in itself is just gross: puking, swelling, farting… I’m just sayin, if I weren’t a tomboy, the gas would be embarassing. But then there’s the cool parts: kicking/movement… um… yeah, that’s about it. I’m just not all girly about the pregnancy. I look at it in a purely scientific manner. There is a parasite inside me. I happen to love my little parasite and will maim/kill anyone who tries to harm him. But yeah, he’s still a parasite for the time being. He’ll pop out of this host and be a super nifty human on his own, but that time won’t come for another 7 weeks or so.

I’m being patient.

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August 4, 2008 by Avy.

There is so much going on right now.

“I know you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”

I feel like my mind is going 100 miles a minute and I don’t know why. I did a spreadsheet to sort out the expenses I have for this month alone and it was enough to make me cry.  I didn’t cry, but I could have… You know what I mean.

I have to get a minor alteration done to my dress but I have to go to the bridal shop tomorrow because today’s my mom’s birthday. I totally have to figure something out for her. I’m so sick of being poor. It’s almost like I’m already unemployed. What the crap?!

This too shall pass.

I feel like a crappy daughter right now even though my mom doesn’t give a damn about birthdays. It’s just totally not like me to drop the ball so hard like this. I should be shot. After delivery.

Planning for Xavier is crazy too, because in my head it’s all so overwhelming. I know once he’s out it’ll be crazier, but I can handle that. What I can’t handle is my own mind turning against me. I get onto the craziest trains of thought and it’s hard to focus on the here and now. I need a nap.  I need an outlet for all this energy. It’s effin with my head.

And the sooner it’s all over, the better. Let this wedding be done with. I want to be married, but I feel like all the planning is a hassle. After the wedding, let Xavier be born and healthy. I’m sick of all this shower talk and thinking about the painting to be done and clean air. Just let him be out and about and FINE.

Sheesh.

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