October 25, 2007 by Avy.

is that people don’t really want you to be honest with them. They want you to shut up, smile, and do as they say. Any relationship can have this problem.

One friend I used to loathe, but always respect was Melissa. She’s always been 100% straight up cuz that way, no one can call you a liar or a bush-beater or whatever.

She and I used to marvel at how people want you to be honest with them, but then they get pissy when you take them up on it. I’ve been guilty of being passive-aggressive because I’ve been too tired for real conflict.

Today I almost made the mistake of having a conversation I knew wasn’t going to go anywhere. Stalemate times ten. Instead of being passive-aggressive, I just left well enough alone. You ask the same question with the same “No” answer enough and eventually the conversation gets shorter and shorter. It’s not rocket science. But what pisses me off is how it’ll be my fault for wanting to level up and do something that’s supposed to be good.

People say they want you to open up, but that’s only if it’s something they want to hear.

Moral of the story: Don’t have dream/goals. If you do, don’t share them. Keep it to yourself because you’re probably the only one who cares.

Class dismissed.

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October 25, 2007 by Avy.

I’m tired.

My mind’s on overdrive and I can’t focus on my work. I got a lot done so far, but now I’m ugh.

I totally failed at making rosemary oil the herbal way. It worked with eucalyptus. I dunno why I couldn’t get it right this time. Ah well. I’ll stick to the book; essentials and carriers only.

Samhain is next Wednesday. I was thinking of starting a hardcover super feel-good grimoire as opposed to my electronic one. I don’t see the point. Even filled up, it’s just going to sit there and collect dust after a while. I did bring my lil pumpkin home though. It’s on my altar. I’ll have to properly set that up tonight. It’ll be a good project. To be honest, I’m losing the energy for it.

I get excited about things. Really enthused and inspired. Then somethin goes click and none of it seems to matter. On the plus side, I’ve lost my appetite. I’m physically hungry, but the concept of eating is gross. That’ll make lunch easier. I feel like a good Fiona Apple song. Sheesh.

On the plus side, I just drank a lot of water and now I have to pee. God I love TMI.

Sarcasm: it’s what’s for dinner.

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