August 30, 2007 by Avy.

Can it be that prease?  So I can has business time?

I want to go toy shopping.

In more important news. I have been writing all week. It feels good. It helps and I forgot what that feels like. Oh my! If they could see me now! I think it’s calming me down as well. Redirection of energy is wise.  I’m deciding what does and does not matter in my life.  It’s funny how much writing out every though helps.

Whenever I’m feeling extra horny, I just write or exercise or take a shower. It worked yesterday and I was happy to be so tired. I still got some nooky, but I wasn’t like omgineedtehsecks! So I’m proud of me.

Also… I have way too many points to eat in a given day. I gained 1 pound this week (as of 8/27) and I blame the WW points system. I’m just gonna eat whatever and steer clear of crap food. I’ll keep exercising and that’ll be that.  I won’t go over my points and all will be well. I’m still drinking at least 60oz of water a day (in the form of 20oz  bottles). Istill take my vitamins everyday. And I think it’ll all work out fine.

So yeah. I’m okay with me right now and I think I’ll stay that way for a while. That’d be nice.

Celebrate Me! I rock!

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August 30, 2007 by Avy.

“You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That’s an education in itself. ”
-Carol Burnett

The woman’s got a point.  I was talking to my grandmother the other day and everytime I talk to her it reminds me of being a kid, then a  teen, now adult. I’ve never had anything easy. I’ve had help along the way sometimes, but life certain has been harder on me than a lot of people my age, though I know there’s 6 million people who’ve had it much worse.

I’ve realized no matter how hard anything gets or how unfair anything will be, I’m a frakkin survivor ( I not be dyin). The fact that I’m not a drug addict or psycho-killer or haven’t annihilated myself yet are sure signs.

I think about the bullcrappage I’ve been through in the past 5 years alone and then look further and realize, hey, I’m still here.  Then there’s the ridiculousness my 10 - 18 years. Let’s not even mention before 10. The sad part is that there aren’t that many people left who’ve known me that long.  That really makes me sad sometimes, but oh well. Such is life, ne?

Anyways. I know life’s not fair and mean people suck and lies will be told and rules will be broken, and buckkits will be stolen, but that’s humanity for ya. Humans are flawed. Everyone. So bah.

I’m glad to know I still remember this stuff. The past is motivation to have a better future. The thing about the future is that YOU have to carve it out yourself no matter who else is around.

That’s why the world really does revolve around me.

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