August 21, 2007 by Avy.

“What’s amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere. Like your life just figured out how to get good, like, that second.”

That My So-Called Life quote sums up how I feel about my life right now. It has nothing to do with the rest of this post, though. Lalala.

Some people find it odd that can talk to & hang out with people I’ve hooked up with/ banged/ dated like nothing ever happened. It’s because I don’t care about them the way I used to. It just dawned on me that most of these people I can take or leave and I actually feel bad about that. I keep thinking about hanging out with certain people since I’ll be this place or doing that. But I don’t really care, so I’m not motivated to do so.

When I do get to see “formers,” it’s like I’m hyper/happy and I think it’s because I hardly ever see them. I’m weird like that. I don’t really feel like seeing you, but when I do it’s like you just gave me a million dollars or ice cream. Sheesh.

(noticed this pink part got deleted)

I started thinking about this when I was looking at some of Jerry’s pics and noticed this Brazilian chick I went to high school with, Helena, was on his friends list. She and I used to be in love (lust) with Sr. Alberto Garcia. Mmm…. seriously. That man is teh secks. Anyways…

I was thinking if I’m ever in NYC again I’ll get in touch and play catch up. But I don’t feel like it. She and I never hooked up — that’d be weeeeeeeird– but it reminded me of this Puerto Rican girl Melanie who I was crazy about for a while.

This bitch (and I say that with like) didn’t make up her mind that she wanted to go out with me until after I got really into Erik. It’s like, Okay dumb ass. I told you before it’d be nifty, and now you wait til it’s too late. We never dated. Just had some fun. But I was thinkin about hanging out with her to catch up and all. She’s weirder than I am though. So that may never ever happen.

Then there’s All-American Krystyn (who will always be my grrly, but not like that)… She and I were havin fun while she was in an “open relationship” with pedo butthole. When she and I were hangin around too much, he didn’t wanna be open anymore so she ended up goin with him. I was pissed off but got over it like a week or 2 later. Especially with how crappy they were doing. It helped. But anyhoo. I was thinking of hangin out with her because that’s always fun times and we can have fun doing next to nothing. It’s pretty sweet. But then what does that look like to other people?

It’s weird enough that I’m still 100% comfy hangin out with male formers. Sometimes I hate the fact that I’ve got femme ones because it’s like I can’t hang out with anyone [I’m attracted to] without it looking weird. It’s annoyin, but funny.

Bah. Just my random train of thought.

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August 21, 2007 by Avy.

It’s really amazing to think of how many people would be dead by now based on the following principles:

Triad oaths

Below is a heavily abridged version of the thirty-six traditional Triad oaths. For an accurate, if lengthy, English translation, see Appendix C of Fei-Ling Davis’ “Primitive Revolutionaries of China”.

1. After having entered the Hung gates I must treat the parents and relatives of my sworn brothers as my own kin. I shall suffer death by five thunderbolts if I do not keep this oath.
2. I shall assist my sworn brothers to bury their parents and brothers by offering financial or physical assistance. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I pretend to have no knowledge of their troubles.
3. When Hung brothers visit my house, I shall provide them with board and lodging. I shall be killed by myriads of knives if I treat them as strangers.
4. I will always acknowledge my Hung brothers when they identify themselves. If I ignore them I will be killed by myriads of swords.
5. I shall not disclose the secrets of the Hung family, not even to my parents, brothers, or wife. I shall never disclose the secrets for money. I will be killed by myriads of swords if I do so.
6. I shall never betray my sworn brothers. If, through a misunderstanding, I have caused the arrest of one of my brothers I must release him immediately. If I break this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
7. I will offer financial assistance to sworn brothers who are in trouble in order that they may pay their passage fee, etc. If I break this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
8. I must never cause harm or bring trouble to my sworn brothers or Incense Master. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
9. I must never commit any indecent assaults on the wives, sisters, or daughters, of my sworn brothers. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I break this oath.
10. I shall never embezzle cash or property from my sworn brothers. If I break this oath I will be killed by myriads of swords.
11. I will take good care of the wives or children of sworn brothers entrusted to my keeping. If I do not I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
12. If I have supplied false particulars about myself for the purpose of joining the Hung family I shall be killed by five thunderbolts.
13. If I should change my mind and deny my membership of the Hung family I will be killed by myriads of swords.
14. If I rob a sworn brother or assist an outsider to do so I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
15. If I should take advantage of a sworn brother or force unfair business deals upon him I will be killed by myriads of swords.
16. If I knowingly convert my sworn brother’s cash or property to my own use I shall be killed by five thunderbolts.
17. If I have wrongly taken a sworn brother’s cash or property during a robbery I must return them to him. If I do not I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
18. If I am arrested after committing an offence I must accept my punishment and not try to place blame on my sworn brothers. If I do so I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
19. If any of my sworn brothers are killed, or arrested, or have departed to some other place, I will assist their wives and children who may be in need. If I pretend to have no knowledge of their difficulties I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
20. When any of my sworn brothers have been assaulted or blamed by others, I must come forward and help him if he is in the right or advise him to desist if he is wrong. If he has been repeatedly insulted by others I shall inform our other brothers and arrange to help him physically or financially. If I do not keep this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
21. If it comes to my knowledge that the Government is seeking any of my sworn brothers who has come from other provinces or from overseas, I shall immediately inform him in order that he may make his escape. If I break this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
22. I must not conspire with outsiders to cheat my sworn brothers at gambling. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
23. I shall not cause discord amongst my sworn brothers by spreading false reports about any of them. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
24. I shall not appoint myself as Incense Master without authority. After entering the Hung gates for three years the loyal and faithful ones may be promoted by the Incense Master with the support of his sworn brothers. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I make any unauthorized promotions myself.
25. If my natural brothers are involved in a dispute or law suit with my sworn brothers I must not help either party against the other but must attempt to have the matter settled amicably. If I break this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
26. After entering the Hung gates I must forget any previous grudges I may have borne against my sworn brothers. If I do not do so I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
27. I must not trespass upon the territory occupied by my sworn brothers. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I pretend to have no knowledge of my brothers’ rights in such matters.
28. I must not covet or seek to share any property or cash obtained by my sworn brothers. If I have such ideas I will be killed.
29. I must not disclose any address where my sworn brothers keep their wealth nor must I conspire to make wrong use of such knowledge. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
30. I must not give support to outsiders if so doing is against the interests of any of my sworn brothers. If I do not keep this oath I will be killed by myriads of swords.
31. I must not take advantage of the Hung brotherhood in order to oppress or take violent or unreasonable advantage of others. I must be content and honest. If I break this oath I will be killed by five thunderbolts.
32. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I behave indecently towards small children of my sworn brothers’ families.
33. If any of my sworn brothers has committed a big offence I must not inform upon them to the Government for the purposes of obtaining a reward. I shall be killed by five thunderbolts if I break this oath.
34. I must not take to myself the wives and concubines of my sworn brothers nor commit adultery with them. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
35. I must never reveal Hung secrets or signs when speaking to outsiders. If I do so I will be killed by myriads of swords.
36. After entering the Hung gates I shall be loyal and faithful and shall endeavour to overthrow Ch’ing and restore Ming by coordinating my efforts with those of my sworn brethren even though my brethren and I may not be in the same professions. Our common aim is to avenge our Five Ancestors(Kok Max, Mong Long, Gee Seng, Gee Heng and Bong Lai).

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